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Danced like a woman. Even kissed like a woman, but as we arrived back at his apartment he reversed his car into a tight parking slot in one fluid movement... ! That’s when I thought “Wait a f’ing minute...”In the Pub the other day I was telling that old joke about what you do if you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath. Answer; throw in your washing.We were all having a good laugh about this, when this big bastard tapped me on the shoulder and said “I don’t find that very funny. My brother was an epileptic and he died in the bath during one of his fits...”I said “Sorry mate. Did he drown?”“No,” he said, “he choked on a sock.”The wife came out of the bathroom and said “I have just shaved my bits and you know what that means don’t you?”I said “Yeah, the bloody plug hole is blocked again.”An Arab diplomat visiting the US for the first time was being wined and dined by the State Department. The Grand Emir was not used to the salt in American foods (French fries, cheeses, salami,. Their elderly female housekeeper.But now, for the first time in probably over a year, she wonderedguiltily what effect all of it had on her ex-husband. How much didhaving to live 24/7 in the role of household servant change how shethought of herself? Did having to constantly pretend to be an uneducatedolder woman make her forget the fact that she was once a marketingexecutive with an Ivy league education and a master's degree. If outwardappearance was a reflection of one's inner mental state, somewhere alongthe line her ex-husband had gone from pretending to be Doris to actuallybeing Doris. Her prodigious bust and massive hips were no longer anillusion created by padding, they were part of her.Diane had only ever meant to help. Despite their divorce, she alwaysloved her ex-husband. So when he called her to tell her that the IRStook away his house and the assets of his startup business for backtaxes... and that he had no money and nowhere to live and no one else toturn to having lost.
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