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As John grew more relaxed on the sofa, he became aware of some otherfeelings. He was feeling a little light headed from the Dubonnet, andexperiencing new (to John) sensations of a cramping and bloating in hisinnards. John slightly cleared his throat "You know, Anna, I fell morethan just a bit awkward about this, but I'm feeling a bit crampy, and, forlack of better words, a bit bloated - do you mind if I lie down for abit?" Crikey!" Anna said in a too loud voice, "I shoulda guessed! I was justabout to start my period when this wacky change took place! Hmmmm....letme think". Anna was quiet for a few minutes, then she said "John, you talkabout feeling awkward, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you acrash course in feminine hygiene". With that, Anna gently, hut firmlypulled John into her bedroom. John managed to place his Dubonnet on an endtable, before he was whisked off by Anna to learn what he must.Half an hour later, Anna and John had resumed their seats, and poses, anddrinks,. She also has him live on the local show.”“Hello,” I said into the phone. “No I was doing some research for one of the cons.”“Well Mr Allen, one of your cons has a family hostage and is threatening to shoot them all. He wants to use you to negotiate,” the female voice said.“So where are you, and can you send a car for me?” I asked.“Don’t you even want to know who it is?” the cop asked.“Not really, if I can help I want to do it,” I said. I spent ten minutes making and eating a banana sandwich. I got into the Sheriff’s car which drove up while I had a glass of tea in my hand.“So do you know anything I can use?” I asked.“How the fuck should I know what you can use,” the female cop asked. “He just said to bring you or to bring four body bags.”“Okay, hold off on the body bags for now,” I suggested. “Maybe the standoff will be over before we get there.”“I doubt it. They are carrying it live on the radio. It’s too early for the bleeding hearts to be in bed, so we won’t be sending anyone in.
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