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Even if it was still less than aday I felt fully conscious of all the apparent differences. I had nointention to indulge in any long lingering looks or tactile selfexploration. I just needed to inspect things enough to incorporate mysense of self.From my experience as a psychiatrist, losing a body part was notdissimilar to losing a loved one. And although I had always consideredthe 5 stages of grief a kitsch oversimplification, it certainly could beapplied.By body part I specifically meant something like a limb. I mean I hadlost a body part I suppose. And it was a body part I certainly liked, asit had provided me with considerable fun and enjoyment over the years.But my grieving I suppose specifically was for the loss of my body as Iidentified it. Not just a missing dick, but everything had changed.There was no identifiable trace of me. No echo of who I once was. I wascompletely different.Then there were the mental changes I seemed to exhibit. I didn't knowwhat was enforced by the. " In that case I'm going to wear a different suit than I intended." Huh?" I was going to wear what I normally wear in the tub. Now I'm going to get the sexiest suit I've got." Why are we walking so SLOWLY!"I grabbed her hand, and dragged her - laughing - to get my gear from the hot tub room. We caught up with Carol in the room. Donna was already in the pool, playing with the bubbles.I picked up my bag, and Julia said to Carol, "Sister, we'll get changed in my room, okay?"Carol smiled and happily grabbed her bag."You can get changed in the Guys' Room Mark," said Julia and her and Carol left the room.I got changed, rubber-banded some plastic I'd brought around my cast, then returned to the hot tub room to join Donna.When I walked into the room, Donna glanced at me, then did a double-take. "Wow. You look GOOD! Move your arm out of the way so I can see you properly."#1: #2: "You must've been doing a LOT of training since last summer. How come you've never said anything?"#1: #3:
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