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"You know, darling Wulf, I seem to be a walking hoard of sexual emotions and I'm just fed up with behaving myself. If only the right young man would come in through the front door one day and sweep this forty-two year old off her feet!" I showed this letter and a photo of Adalind to one of my close barrack-hut companions. "Blimey, you could do a lot worse!", Rob exclaimed, staring at the photo, "What a cracker for forty-two! And all pent up sexually. Listen here, you nut, you're living alone with your step-mother in her house, when the winter comes and the winds howl across Viking Moos she would probably welcome you in her bed, and you couldn't wish for a better sex teacher than a woman of her age who fancies you. Strewth! Forget about the local floozies and let yourself be hooked by your step-mother!" In my letter of reply to Adalind, I suggested in a roundabout way that I was not averse to sharing the matrimonial bed with her in the depths of winter. I said I would hate to think of. “No James, she is my friend, in fact I am her chaperone!” Lucinda laughed excitedly, “So what do you think of my James?” she asked.“I think he is an insufferable oaf!” Pat declared.“But how does he fuck my darling?” Lucinda enquired.“How should I know, I have nothing with which to compare him save a broom handle,” she answered.“Good lord was I your first?” I asked.“Of course!” she replied.“No ‘Of course’ about it, you were fucking Lucinda as I came in, you looked every inch a whore so how the devil am I supposed to know,” I fumed, “Am I supposed to ask every wench ‘Are you pure’ before I pleasure them?”“No but a bye your leave would be a sound starting point,” Lucinda opined.“If chaps had to ask a bye your leave every time he fancied a poke the whole of humanity would die out in a rash of virginity,” I opined.“Oh lord there is slime running out of me,” Pat declared.“Of course there is you idiot I just fucked you!” I snapped.“I say,” a gruff voice enquired, “Who has been fucking.
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