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I thought I understood her life. I didn’t. I had no idea how pervasive the intrusions are. I had no idea how constant the attention was. I can honestly say that I’m not sure how much of that was her idea and how much came from RFN’s marketing department. I think, if she’s truthful, she’d admit it was a little of both. But I also know that she’s grown tired of it and she wishes she had the sort of life that would let her leave the house in sweats and a hat once in awhile.“I know this is hard to believe because she’s been around so long but she’s only 30. She’s younger than all of you and she’s starting to think about ... getting out and slowing down. She’s starting to worry if she can raise normal children under the glare of the spotlight. She’s starting to worry if she can hold together a normal relationship with me and her friends. She’s been out there for 14 or 15 years and she’s tired – but there really isn’t a way for her to ease her way back. Too many people have an investment. This hadn’t been any ordinary sixteen days either. She had been with her lover, the man I was starting to fear in erotic heaven, Las Vegas! Our kiss went on; hands groping, tongues intertwined, lips nibbling on lips and emotions raw. I love my wife and my fear of losing her was real and raw. How can I explain that so much of the emotional turmoil I felt while she was gone has, almost, become a necessary part of my life? I hated it but I craved it. More and more, it’s become a huge part of the sexual excitement I feel when she’s with another man. Watching that video of Shaun and Michelle making love, then her expressing her love for him couldn’t have been more frightening. Yet, nothing turned me on more than when she’d uttered those words, “I love you,” to Shaun. I digress. Michelle finally broke away from me, both of us breathing deeply and a bit ragged. Michelle asked me, “How was your date?” I remembered the pictures that I’d forgotten in the car, so I told her I needed to grab.
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