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But as I got my pillow wet and disgusting with my tears and snot, I started making myself cry more. I’d tell myself things that I knew weren’t true like “Nobody likes you, that’s why you never go out” or “Your teachers give you Cs and Bs because they hate you too.” I just wanted to have a big cry and get everything out that’d been building up for too long. I even said, “Even your mom hates you!”Mom came in and talked to me after I was finished crying. She seemed to know exactly how much time I needed. She opened the door and Bear rushed in and licked my salty face which I liked because I thought it looked like I was just wet with drool and not tears. Mom sat down and told me how I was being a man and that maybe she had been too dependent on me for helping around the house. I was just a k** after all, even if I was 17. She said she could probably manage while wrestling lasted but that after “the playoffs or whatever” (as she put it), I had to help as much as I could again.I agreed. I. ’ I thought about that for a moment and said, ‘I wouldn’t want to hurt anybody. I’m learning to fight but I don’t know if I could.’ Uncle Dar motioned me to come over to his bed and had me sit down on the edge. He said, ‘Let me tell you a secret.’ I nodded and he continued, ‘If you have enough reason you will fight. If you thought you were protecting someone you love you’d fight as hard as you could. You might hate yourself afterwards, but you’d do it.’ ‘The most dangerous person in the world is someone fighting for their loved ones,’ he continued. ‘I’ve seen the best and the worst of people and I know that anyone will fight for that. A mother protecting her children will attack a lion with a broom if thats what it takes. She’d loose the fight but even knowing that wouldn’t stop her.’ I thought about that for a bit. He was right, I realized. I’d fight to protect Janny or Erica. I’d do whatever I could to protect George too. I might hesitate but I’d do it. Shelly, Sandra, Ellen and.
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