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“Sergeant, she honestly was worried, this happened this weekend.” I then lifted my shirt to my chest and turned around, the pattern of bruising obvious. She apologized, and I said it was alright, she would not have known. “We have been friends for two years now, just friends. That was just the concern of a friend.”We went outside and soon had walked to our tree and sat under it. I told Frannie about the weekend, then the attack. That the one that had slapped Jacki was in the hospital with “crushed nuts”, and the others were beat by the bystanders that helped pull them off. “But other than that, it was a good weekend” I said, and smiled.“And other than that, how was the play Mrs. Lincoln? Holy crap Pete, I can’t believe that happened to you. All because you were with Jacki? I might have expected it from some shithead cracker from Mississippi, but not from four black guys.”I then told her what Jacki had told me, about how some saw as “white guys poaching their women”, and she shook her. I admitted to myself that Ruth and I had engaged in some of the most creatively wild sex I'd ever known; a damned shame it was that we never broke free of the "no touch" barriers she'd established for our encounters. I wished, not for the first time, that I could somehow go back in time and knock some sense into my past self, and urge him (me) to just ignore Ruth's resistance and push ahead, driving her out of her self-imposed safety shell and into the real world of true intimacy. The worst that could have happened was that our friendship ended – in other words, no change from the current reality.The hour had grown late and my tossing and turning was keeping my wife from sleeping. I was still quite awake and fantasizing about what I'd have done then if I'd had knowledge of the future. I pondered over and over how, even if it were possible, changing the past would obliterate my present. I had no desire to lose my wife or family, and felt bad for even entertaining thoughts of "what if".
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