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‘Maybe…maybe if I’d known, none of this mess would have happened. Maybe I could have done something to keep it from happening.’ As he drove along, he kept thinking about what his daughter had told him about Ann’s life and tried to figure out some way he could let her know that he knew, and that it didn’t matter to him. ‘I’ve got to do something,’ he told himself, ‘If I don’t, I’m going to lose her. And I haven’t felt like this since…since Marie died. And, dammit, she needs me, too, even if she doesn’t know that yet.’ Martin finally pulled into the parking lot of University Medical Center and found a parking space. He looked over at Ann, who was still sound asleep. Her face was relaxed and showed none of the stress she had been under. ‘God, she’s beautiful!’ he thought. ‘Ann…wake up,’ he said softly. Ann started, then she opened her eyes and looked around. ‘Where…where are we?’ she asked. ‘We’re at the hospital,’ Martin said. ‘I thought maybe you’d like to stop in and see how Lonnie. Every once in a while a blue-black butterfly floated by, not caring that winter was on its way and that the air would soon turn cruelly cold, but instead intent on finding the next sweet flower on which to feast. It was my favorite place on earth. I hiked those woods all summer the next year, finding new paths what wound up into the hills, exploring them to my heart’s content. I loved the serenity of being surrounded by nature, the peaceful loneliness that I could wrap my being around, and the almost eerie silence that invaded my mind and pushed out my thoughts. It was here, and only here, that I could truly be alone. There was a stream running through the woods. During rainy season, I suppose it could become more of a river, but it’s best when it’s a stream. The clean, fresh smell of renewal possessed me here, making me whole and giving me the energy to face another day. I could see the tiny minnows swimming around, trying in vain to trap a waterbug for dinner. The birds, so many.
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