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That is the most memorable of the condolences. The rest seem to go by in a blur of hugs and words with no real meaning, cryptic utterances about better places and a caring lord. He remembers watching his father, the strongest man he had ever known, waste away into nothingness, and wants to scream every time they mention the Lord’s mercy. They slowly slip away from him, back to there lives and whatever silly little things they live for. He knows they must be silly things for he has come to realize one of life’s greatest pranks, to care for anything is to be a fool. For who other than a fool would put his heart out when everything is so fleeting. Life, love, money, happiness. Dig deeper and it is impossible not to see that these things are just the rouge on the cheek of a dead whore. Somewhere deeper inside him he thinks this, but on the surface he thinks very little at all. He has slipped into his auto pilot mode and forgets completely about the check that he had told himself he was. I had a sense of being particularly special, and of this being a particularly special occasion, although the only thing out of the ordinary was that Mom was away and not expected home for several days. It was just the two of us. I was swelled up with pride and wine. As I have mentioned, my stepfather was the man who principally attracted me. I masturbated to my mental image of him between my legs. The handle of my hairbrush frequently stood in for his imagined cock. It was his name which I whispered as I urged myself toward orgasm. And it was he who was now plying me with wine. I had chosen my clothing for this special dinner with care. Under my chiffon blouse, I wore a silk chemise, sans bra. I wore a short silk skirt without any underwear. And I was barefoot. I was conscious of my erect nipples throughout dinner and, as we sat over dessert, I let my bare foot rest upon Dad’s. It seemed to me as though I was sitting in a pool of moisture which had dripped from my aroused cunt. Dad.
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