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Then he started laughing. ‘That explains a lot. Thank god, your reticence was driving me crazy.’ ‘So…you’re not?’ she asked in bewilderment. ‘No, of course not. Where did you get that idea?’ Andrea frowned. ‘Sarah and Rachel, from the office. That’s what they said when I asked if you were single.’ Derek stopped laughing and looked decidedly guilty. ‘Oh. I guess it is kind of my fault then.’ Andrea waited for him to elaborate. ‘It happened last summer,’ he explained. ‘The CEO’s daughter was working in our office as an intern. She had a bit of a crush on me.’ He looked embarrassed but Andrea was nonplussed. ‘So you told everyone you were gay to get her off your back?’ ‘Well, I tried to let her down gently at first but she was very insistent about trying to change my mind. I was worried she would get me fired,’ he said. ‘So I took her aside one day and told her I wasn’t attracted to women. And I asked her not to tell anyone,’ he added in a miffed tone. Andrea laughed. ‘Well, she. Next thing I knew they were being escorted out. I prayed they’d have the good sense to leave. They didn’t, they were there in the street when we left. ‘Gentlemen,’ I began in my best Portuguese, ‘why don’t we just call this a misunderstanding? My wife felt you insulted her and she reacted. Probably we’re all square. Let’s not overreact.’ Naturally, there were some really insulting remarks aimed at my manhood. I had to explain in English to Hosi who was incensed, just what I wanted to avoid. She gave me her shoes and shooed me back to the building. It was brutal—I couldn’t watch. In less than a minute all three men were lying, bleeding in the gutter. Hosi was just putting her sandals back on when the police arrived. I explained what had occurred and why, finishing by saying we didn’t want to press charges. The officer laughed, agreeing that they had probably paid the worst punishment already, being beaten by a girl. I translated everything for Hosi—everything but that last comment..
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