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What’s the problem?”Customer: “I’m in the Outback with the girlfriend and she’s been stung on her thigh by a hornet and now her vagina has completely closed up!”Australian Telephone Operator: “Bummer!”Customer: “Great advice! Thanks mate, bye.”These are compliments of Gary H.Disturbing Beer News.Yesterday, University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:1) Gained weight.2) Talked excessively without making sense.3) Became overly emotional.4) Couldn’t drive.5) Failed to think rationally.6) Argued over nothing.7) Had to sit down while urinating.8) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.No. I ... let me submit to you tonight, Jemma, I need it so bad."Jemma gasped. Maggie had never asked for this before, and usually it was not in the girl's nature to assume the dominant role ... but tonight there was a full moon and the secret Jemma had hidden from her beloved Mistress was running rampant in her veins. She wanted the power Maggie was offering, and she wanted to reveal her hidden nature at last to the woman who brought her such pleasure."Yessss," Jemma hissed, smiling wickedly. She stood gracefully and stepped to Maggie's side, grabbing her by the hair and pulling her roughly to her knees. "My whore, my slut, my filthy cunt!" Maggie moaned at the names Jemma called her and shuddered with lust.The sex was wild and hot and kinky as Jemma used her lover mercilessly. The girl smiled to herself as she listened to Maggie cumming for the umpteenth time, and let her lust run free. It was rare that she was in such a dominant state but she wanted to enjoy it. It would all lead up.
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