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But I… I think I’ve lost my interest in women.” Oh my god. And I thought my secret had been big. “Seeing you like this,” she rushed on, as though afraid the words wouldn’t come out fast enough for me to hear before I ran out on her. How the tables had turned! “I’ve never been so turned on in my life! This is like… it’s like my fairy godmother came down and turned my pumpkin into a penis!” I was incredulous. I burst out laughing, disbelieving. She joined in, laughing with me. What luck! What a beautiful moment. This was… insane! “Wait here!” She was up and out the door faster than I could blink. I didn’t have long to wait before she returned, carrying a shoebox. “I bought this a few months ago and never had the courage to tell you,” she said, putting it on the bed and kneeling beside me. “Open it.” Her eyes were embers, bright and burning into me. I lifted the lid. My jaw fell. I picked up the strap-on, it’s leather harness heavy in my hand. “Try it on, baby.” Her fingers. " If a guy suggested that a single line in that song were true about them or ought to happen that night, that guy would be "such a dick." Sadly, in college these were the only girls I was able to attract, which equated to silliness, unfulfilled boners, and long nights of masturbating in the fraternity computer room. I discovered this poignant reality just before I started college.I met Mary at a YMCA Youth and Government event in Sacramento in the middle of my senior year in high school when she approached me during a break in class. "Do you understand anything about this lecture?" she asked. The class wasn't even a lecture, it was a discussion. But this seventeen-year-old’s face was pure innocence. With her timid smile and puppy dog expression, the petite brunette reminded me of Katie Holmes from her Dawson’s Creek days. That night she made me pinky swear that I'd call her. I should have known she was a virgin from the start.I kept Mary’s phone number but didn't call her until the.
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