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It is the fact that evenwith HRT and SRS it is only the best that modern medicinecan do. Even then I am still not genetically female. Thereis no way I will ever give birth. The view in the mirror isstill too masculine. I don?t know if I could ever get ridor my beard or the rug that covers my body. I am too tall.My voice is too deep. The hair where I need it is missing.I need to put makeup and look pretty, not like someone whois trying to pass. And if I try to pass I might get beat upby someone who believes he is a ?real? man. Or I might justbe lucky enough just to get a snide remark. I need to bewith woman as a woman, not a freak. And if I need to go tothe restroom in a public place it is with a sister or agirlfriend. I need to be with a man as his woman and knowthat he is or will be the father of my babies.I feel that hurt and anger. It is because I was born withthat genetic defect that said I should be playing with gunsand trucks instead of dolls and jewelry. Part of me neededto. Vi heard it too, flaring her hood, her eyes glinting in the darkness. She shot out of bed, shouldering the plasma rifle she now kept beside the window, and flung the shutters open. I rose groggily, it sounded like something was happening in the barn. It had to be the Mutons, but what were they doing?Vi was spitting fury, hissing and waving her long body back and forth like a cobra preparing to strike as she aimed her weapon.“Hang on, don’t shoot the bloody Mutons, what the hell is going on out there?”I knew what she was thinking, her fears had been confirmed and the Mutons were attacking us, but I had more faith in them than that. They had no reason to attack us, so what were they doing?“I’m going down, cover me.”She turned and glared at me, her eyes fierce, and hissed her disapproval.“If you like it or not I’m going down to the barn to see what’s happening, you can come with me or you can stay here.”I headed downstairs to retrieve my assault rifle from the cupboard, and Vi followed.
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