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Perhaps even his validation of me as awoman."Wow! You look nice. Your makeup looks great." It was genuine; andclearly the answer I was seeking, whether I knew it or not. "Betterthan I would have done... before. You certainly don't need my help.Not that I could. I don't remember any of that stuff any more." Really?" I ask alarmed. He hadn't mentioned that when I was poutingand ranting about him not helping me adapt or adjust."Yep. It was one of the things that precipitated my.... You know..."He pauses before regrouping and spitting it out. "My suicide attempt.I realized after 6 or so months of this I had absolutely norecollection of what it ever felt like to be a woman. Taking thoseoral contraceptive tablets was a futile attempt to recall thatsensation."He had said that to me, that night in the hospital, how he hadforgotten. I hadn't thought about it since. I had no doubt now, thatI too would very soon find the concept of ever being a man completelyforeign. It made me shudder.. Barb had lost her virginity to her own hand and her mom's purloined, thick, 12 inch vibrator. She had managed that feat with Judy's advice on the intimate "How to" of self-deflowering!For her, after a few exploratory attempts she had indeed stretched her hymen to a very useable and fuckable diameter. Technically Barb was still a virgin sans cherry! If she could get laid without fear of pregnancy she would do it in a heart beat. That "Knocked up" syndrome was her phobia, extremely so.Linda would get laid in the blink of an eye as well, according to what Barb told me. IF Linda could just get around the irrational fear she had about the pain she envisioned, she would "DO IT" too! She didn't think that even at her horniest moments that she could render herself hymen free as Barb had done. If only someone else could... ?The conversation about that continued off and on for some weeks. Eventually Linda hinted that MAYBE she could attempt to let someone else, a more sexperienced female,.
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