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I wasn't mad at him, I was just trying to come to terms with what I've done, and if I should continue down this path. I did not know if it would be the path to my destruction, or the fulfillment of all my dreams and fantasies all I really knew was my divorce papers had arrived.Despite the risks, the danger, the guilt and the fears I still wanted him. I still lusted for him and I still tingled every time I was near him. Also I still 'saw' him when I masturbated. I recalled that first time when my son had taken me.That said, as the days passed our desire for each other did not reduce and if anything it increased. We talked about it in texts and agreed that we could not go on without each other and that as soon as the divorce was settled we would move away together.I was at home alone lost in a dream. Just a few months ago, I was thinking I had a perfect life. The most romantic husband, in a wonderful marriage. My son was exceeding in both sports and academics, my husband and I had. It was very sensuous. I hated it. Or at least I hated it that I was starting to really enjoy myself.”Jessica glanced over at Judy, smiled and said, “A lot!”Then she continued with her narrative. “After she used the shower massager to rinse me off she asked me to do the same for her. I shampooed her hair. You should see her hair when it’s down by the way. She has beautiful, long, lustrous, luxurious hair. It’s very sexy. After I washed her hair I began to soap up her body. I had never touched another woman’s breasts before. Or any other part of her either. I was really surprised at how erotic it was. I didn’t fight that feeling. Since I knew I was going to have my first sexual experience with her I thought I might as well let it be as bearable as possible. I was surprised though. I expected to feel ... well, I didn’t expect to enjoy it.“I rinsed her off just like she did me a few minutes earlier and I realized that I was even enjoying watching the soap and the water run off of her.
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