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He would cover for us.“Well, don’t you look dashing!” commented Mrs. Colosimo as she ushered me inside. “Louis, doesn’t Carl look handsome!” she called to her husband in the living room.He looked at me, with the confused look most men do when responding to their wife’s questions which don’t require a response. “Yes, very nice. Welcome. Come on in, Carl.”“Thank you. Here, Mrs. Colosimo. I wasn’t sure if I would get a chance to bring this over before Christmas, so why don’t I give it to you now.” I was holding a large foil wrapped package, and she took it with considerable curiosity.“Thank you. What is it? Jeana will be down in a moment, I’m sure. Take your coat off.”“Thank you.” It was a chilly evening, like most December evenings in Maryland, cold but no snow. A white Christmas was a rarity here. Snow normally didn’t start until early January. I had worn a trench coat and dark leather gloves along with my trademark fedora. I peeled them all off, leaving me in my suit.“Oooh, you. I said I’d go see if we could move, not mentioning to Audrey that I had booked a double.At the bar I spoke to the barwoman. I said we’d booked a double. She replied that she thought I didn’t want to sleep in the same bed as my mother! I explained that she wasn’t my mother, she was in fact my lover!Her face was a picture! She was rooted to the spot in shock and surprise. It took a while for her to come to her senses and she said that the only double they had now was above the stable, and would my ‘lover’ be able to make the stairs? Cheeky mere! Taking the keys from her I left saying that I reckoned she would but by Sunday she might be a bit bandy legged, what with the shagging we’d be doing!I never mentioned to Audrey what had gone on in the bar and we moved to our new room, which incidentally was way better.The Friday we walked a section of Offa’s dyke and on the Saturday another. It was too much for Audrey really and on the Sunday she asked if we could have a lie in. I was.
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