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I thought my chances of fucking her was just like a dream now and I was hurt deep within and then she also had been studying her teacher’s training course and I had joined engineering in Bangalore.I was in 3rd sem when once I was watching a blue in friends PC and was alone in room, thought of calling her and called through my mobile. She picked and casual talks finished and she also told that she was having lunch with her friends in college and I said to her that I was watching a blue film and thinking of fucking her and suddenly she started scolding rashly that you are doing engineering and concentrate on that and stop doing mischievous things again disappointment.I was in fourth sem now and study holidays were announced and my mother asked me come home to study. I said know and then after some more talks, mom said that your cousin sister s coming here for around a 15 days. I asked mom whether jiju is coming to which mom replied no. now I started making plans and called my mom that. ”“And what else.”“What do you mean?”“Fucking? Getting high? Isn’t that what you’re doing now?”“What do you mean?”“I mean fucking. Getting high. Traveling. Working. On everything but your writing.”“I’m...”“You’re directing your work. I get it. But...”“But what?”“I get this image of a writer. Like a hermit wearing some beat up smelly robe. Because no one’s around to care what you smell like. Swigging coffee and smoking cigarettes. Typing away incessantly. Because you’re caught up in your work. Your mind manifested on the page. And that’s all that matters. Giving into your words. Nothing else matters.”“Yeah.”“It’s a solitary life, Joe. The rest of the world be damned. Just you and the typewriter the entirety of your existence. At least when you’re doing your work. When you’re composing. Inventing. Creating something out of nothing. Turning a blank page into brilliance. That’s what I see.”He chuckled.“What?” she asked.“It just reminds me of my favorite painter. Oskar Kokoschka.”“I don’t.
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