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Not one of our supposed allies and neighbours, the Canadians. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. Canadians dislike everyone who isn’t Canadian, and they dislike us Americans for our strength, diversity, power, resilience, size, beauty, individualism, cockiness and national sense of pride. You see, Canadians as a whole are small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. And they know it. When was the last time Canada played a key role in world affairs? Winning the Vancouver Olympics in men’s and women’s Hockey doesn’t bloody count. Hockey is a sport, not a global political or social event. Don’t tell that to a Canadian, though. They might spontaneously combust upon hearing it. Canadians are the fakest, most bigoted and most racist people on the planet. They’re really good at hiding it until you get to know them. My name is Steve Lamour. An American citizen of Haitian descent attending a Canadian University in the city of Ottawa, Ontario. And I approve this message. Canadians. Of course, I always enjoyed talking to people in bars. After all, isn't that the reason people go out? If I merely wanted to get drunk, I'd stay home. It would be a lot cheaper.But the real reason - aside from the fact that Suzy was very good looking - that I began to talk at length with Suzy was a plastic bag she had walked in with, emblazoned with the name of a fetish shop I often frequented.We left the bar about an hour later, Suzy snuggling up to me, telling me that she loved a man who dressed in women's clothes, much more so if he wore vinyl, rubber and/or leather -all of which I put on every chance I got! That afternoon, and over the next few years, Suzy and I would often get together. Sometimes we would make love. Sometimes she would perform her makeup magic on me and we would go out for dinner or drinks.But our relationship wasn't really a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. We simply enjoyed each other's company. And Suzy, true to her profession, was awesome with makeup.Which was.
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