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. ‘ her voice grew almost wistful. ‘He’ll find some girl and sweep her off her feet one day, I know he will.’ ‘Sounds like he already did,’ Lani observed. The one frustrating thing about Dee was her lack of self-confidence. She never felt she was quite good enough for anyone, which was completely ridiculous. She’d worked her way, with long hours and lots of effort, out of a bad family situation. Although Dee was rightly proud of what she accomplished, it seemed that she let her origins hold her back, especially in relationships. Lani remembered when they’d met in college. Even with her, Dee had resisted friendship. Lani had been in the student center checking her mail, and turned to find herself hemmed in by a circle of swaggering freshman guys. Dee had muscled her way in, casting an evil eye on each one of them, and they had suddenly decided Lani wasn’t worth their time. Once they were gone, Dee had changed, her eyes slid to the floor and she barely acknowledged Lani’s words of. First, there’s Pia, second, I’ll be going home in eight months and have no idea if I’ll ever come back.”“And you were OK with just sleeping, not doing anything?”“Yes, I was. In fact, not just OK, but it was the right thing to do.”“You are not a Swedish guy, that’s for sure!” she laughed, then after a short pause asked, “How are you dealing with everything?”“I’m still torn up about the abortion. I know what everyone has said, but it still feels like Becky did it to protect me, and that’s not what I wanted.”“But it was her choice; it had to be. No matter what her reasons, it had to be her choice, not yours.”“Yeah, I know. I have a friend who was raped when she was thirteen and got pregnant. She had an abortion and I’m sure it was the right thing to do. But this was my baby!”“Made in love? Or just an accident with someone you didn’t love? Did you love Becky? Did you make that baby on purpose? Did you want to make that baby?”I sat stark upright, startled by her comment. It was almost.
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