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It felt awkward at first, but then Istarted to find a rhythm and a technique with my hips. I glanced at myreflection in a mirror to my left, and it reminded me exactly of themotions a girl does with her hips during sex. I was moving just likethat. I felt a sudden surge of desire and I climaxed pretty quickly.Our sex is now all oral. Obviously she no longer sucks my dick like it'sa dick, she licks it and kisses it more like a nipple. It's incrediblysensitive; I can climax pretty quickly and it feels wonderful. Climaxingis quite different now that I don't shoot anything out of myself. Thereare still the spasmodic contractions, but when I was fully functional itwas definitely the feeling of pushing the semen out, shooting somethingout with force. Now it's less localized and I feel really warm all overmy groin.October 13This day was coming, but I still wasn't quite ready for it: I had to sitdown to pee this morning. I can't call it a dick anymore. It's just thislittle nubbin with a hole. Or my body’s, since my soul no longer exists. (If it ever did.) Why did Torquemada choose to spare me from death? Was he ‘sparing’ me at all? Or did he think that un-death was the greater punishment for one of my ilk? He certainly was impassioned when he bit me, enflamed. I can still feel his hot breath on my neck, smell the stench of his arousal. (Do I smell like that when I’m aroused?) I’m sure he was as insatiable then, as I am now. Eternal desire housed in a mortal body, a dead body, unable to feel, unable to find release, yet driven by a compulsive spirit to seek it out, always, everywhere, forever. This is the true curse of the vampire, continually desirous of both flesh and blood (female flesh and blood in my case, male in Torquemada’s) but never satisfied by either. We act, we perform, we function, but without satisfaction. Not that I didn’t find satisfaction often enough (too often?) when I was alive. At least I have the vivid memory of what satisfaction felt like. Vivid.
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