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Out loud initially, and later just by thinking words back and forth. We enjoyed it, so I wrapped clothes around my wrists to stop the bleeding, and I managed to clean up and get myself to bed. I kept it a secret, obviously. I had suicide cuts on my wrists and had a new voice in my head, so I would've been committed to a mental hospital if I'd said anything. -- "Over the next few weeks my apparent increase in IQ was mostly due to my having two of me to work things out. That's a huge help because I could discuss problems back and forth, which often popped up new ideas. The result of my IQ test was mostly because my minds leapfrogged each other down the questions in the test, so I got twice as many of them done in the same time..."I was interrupted by Prof's chuckling, which gave Julia the chance to declare, "That's why you sometimes say 'we' when you're talking about yourself." Yep. We try not to, but it sometimes slips out."Prof declared, "THAT'S why you could read so many computer. It's been a very hard day, with the breakup and all – maybe the hardest since the day Mom died." I understand, baby. I'm sorry it's been so hard. I'll pour us some wine," I conceded, once again caving in to my little girl, "but just one glass. I don't want you getting tipsy." Thanks, Dad. It means a lot to me that you're starting to treat me like a grown-up."Those words warmed my heart. I had felt like such a miserable failure in dealing with Barb's death, in being both father and mother, in protecting my little girl from a prick like Trey. "One of the hardest parts of parenting is letting go," I answered, "and allowing you to make your own mistakes, rather than living with mine."Amanda virtually ran from her place on the couch to the kitchen. She hugged me, tears in her eyes, and said, "Thanks, Dad. I really do love you."My eyes misted a little. "I love you, too, my precious sweetheart." After a brief embrace, I broke the tension. "Help me carry these wine glasses to the coffee.
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