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“The lady that lives with mum is weird,” he said telling me she dressed like a man all of the time. “And you should see her hair Dad, it’s sooo short!” He stated. “That’s nice,” I said refusing ever to say anything negative about his mum or her other half. “It’s shorter than mine!” He declared pinching the tips of his hair. “Don’t be rude,” I murmured. “Okay and she’s sooo funny. Boy oh boy can she make me laugh,” he said giggling.The day Mehul turned 18 was the first day I really looked at him, intensely it seemed for the first time in years. I knew how handsome he was and what a great body he had and his dazzling smile but he appeared grown-up, a young man. Later on, I looked at myself intensely in a full length mirror attached to the rear of my bedroom door. “Thirty-nine” I mumbled. “A little more than twice Mehul’s age,” I whispered. “Soon to be 40,” I added. “Not bad for 39 almost 40,” I said turning profile both ways studying my body for the first time in years. “Could use. “Serena, it was 12 years ago that he ... well, not quite walked out on you but I’m sure you felt that way. Still feel that way, maybe.”Walked out on me! That’s what you call it. Made me despise myself. Made me hate him. Kept me full of rage at what had happened.“There’s more than that,” I stammered. Was I ready to tell him what I’d found out? How could he not have known – either of them? Was their mother that cruel that she kept it from them all these years?A puzzled look crossed Auden’s face. “What more?” he asked innocently enough. Perhaps I could shatter his innocence just a bit.“Mother left me a letter – I found it in an old trunk not many years ago.”Auden was nodding.“She told of a baby, of a family with an older child that took that baby.”Auden was still nodding, a knowing nod, as if what I was sharing wasn’t ... wasn’t shameful, wasn’t something that needed to be hidden, wasn’t something that clung to you, like filth from a cesspool, that somehow contaminated you forever. Why.
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