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My heart was bursting out of my chest because it felt so good to explore another man, and to have him make me….feel. Even if it was a slog and a challenge, and a little disgusting...I still felt. It’s been so long since I felt anything that immense.”I nodded, “We took a lot of risks.” I made sure to group us together to avoid shaming her.She agreed with her eyes. “So, so unsafe...what if there’s a baby…”We let the big, big elephant in the room sit in silence. I remembered how it felt shoving his cum into her. What if she was unscathed until then? What if my horn-ball, delusional action was the deciding moment when nihilism bore fruit?“There’s the mind, the heart, and the soul. We haven’t talked about the soul.”I paused. She looked white as a ghost. “What do you mean?” I asked.She licked her lips, “I considered him. I think, if we want to come clean, we have to talk about that. Not just the gaudy porn stuff. You need to know that I considered him.”I was in disbelief,. We talked for a good couple of hours about life, work and our home lives. The topic finally got around to sex and I discovered that Steve was in the same boat as I was. Married to a woman he loved but barely had sex with anymore because of the pace of life.Finally I worked up the courage and said, “So, last night in the hot tub, that was a first for me. Do you do that a lot?”"Well, that was kind of a first for me in decades. I fooled around a little with a guy in college, but not since,” Steve replied. Nervously he asked, “You did like it right? I mean you did meet me tonight.”“Hell yes! I’ve fantasized about something like that for years. I spent most for the day hard thinking about it. As a matter of fact... ” I proceeded to tell him about my lunch time adventure.“Wow that’s hot!” He looked me right in the eye and asked, “Do you want to get out of here?”“Yes.”We settled up our bar tabs and Steve lead me out of the bar and to the elevators. We went up to his room and I.
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