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But what the Hell do I know about love? At this time, fifteen days ago, I was just like any other freshman at UK. I was working on my classes, and trying to think about how to meet girls, and wanting desperately to get laid. The girls I dreamed about? Why, they were the sorority girls, the ones with the strawberry blonde hair — whether real or Clairol — the golden tans, the perfect skin and awesome figures under not a whole lot of clothes, the ones who wore necklaces and earrings and short skirts and flirted effortlessly, leaving guys like me in their wakes as they walked through campus. I was going to get my degree in chemistry, then maybe a masters, and some fabulous job with a major industrial firm, and move up the ladder with a real, living Barbie doll on my arm. The sorority girl I’d marry, after I was graduated, of course, was going to be some kind of sex fiend, a girl who just knew everything but still only from listening to her sisters — the other sorority sisters I had. It was understandable, even if their chosen solution, that of prayer to a false and impotent deity, well, left a lot to be desired.Thankfully for our cause, Ben, Julia, and Claire removed anyone underage from the building scant seconds before we entered the main auditorium, conveniently leaving only the adults. People heard the noise just as we walked into the place and turned to face our band of naked raiders, which naturally shocked and amazed most, if not all, of the congregation.“Who in God’s name are you?” one lady who looked a lot like a Karen asked me very directly now.“Now, now, Karen, don’t blaspheme!” I chuckled as I zapped her on the spot.The Karen’s instant reaction, while something that I observed plenty of other times before in the past day or so, was still a marvel in some ways. Watching a woman go from prayer warrior to slut wife in just seconds was something truly awesome that could never bore or tire me for my part. She stripped to full nudity before anyone could.
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