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Dullwater was a new and unwelcome aspect to the previously-enjoyable prospect of interviewing the yearly crop of fresh and oh-so-eager-to-please sorority pledges. Last year rumors and complaints had begun to surface of a few isolated hazing practices the pledges had to endure. The university had reacted swiftly, and now we were graced with the likes of Mrs. Dullwater as a representative of the “Sorority Oversight Committee”, or SOC for short. Amongst ourselves it was quickly rebranded the SUCK Committee, but that bitter little bit of humor did nothing to reduce its annoyance factor. Every step of the pledging process was now conducted per an elaborate set of rules and was carefully monitored. And predictably, all the fun had been wrung out of the event. I glanced to my left at my sorority sister, Lexi. The blonde girl made no effort to stifle a huge yawn, and then went back to sketching bored doodles in the margins of her pledge evaluation form. Underneath the table, Baxter -- the. It’s a simple as that. Second, I thought Sue was a lousy dancer, wooden as a fence post with very little movement and rhythm. Now, although I think a far better dancer that her, I think we should toss that idea out the window, because you got an advantage that’ll blow them all away. Just concentrate on what you love and know best, which is your floor gymnastics.You pull that off, you can produce something so completely different, it’ll be almost unfair to the other contestants. Just do your headstands, back and front flips, summersaults, stretches and tumbles. You won’t have to do them all, just what you feel most comfortable with. Do a few of each before you take your top off, do a few topless movements, but not too many, just enough for a good warm up, because I want you have lots of energy and full of vim and vigor for a grand finale that’ll blow the pants off those dirty old degenerates. So remember, save the best for after you take off the bikini bottoms and then just for go for.
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