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I even lost my virginity in a deliberate manner—after prom with my then boyfriend because I had appreciated how he hadn't pushed me all year.That softened when I got to college. I was more willing to do the social dance and let the guys initiate. It was more fun. Sometimes I would seduce a guy, sometimes I'd let him seduce me. However, I'd never been completely passive.Until last night. For two minutes.And I'd thoroughly enjoyed it.Was this really me?I might have spent all day pondering things in my head if it weren't for Sandy's hockey practice. They had a Sunday evening time reserved at the rink and, as usual, she wanted me there for locker room guard. I normally would read a book during practices because Steve only attended the games. I resolved to talk to Sandy about Steve.Except Sandy was exceedingly unhelpful."I can't tell you," she said, smiling as she shrugged her shoulders in reply to my query about Steve."What do you mean you can't tell me?" I can't tell you anything about. Trying to mask my uneasiness, I said, "Looks good on you. Well, come on in -- I've got dinner ready, and I'm sure that you would like to freshen up before we eat." We went inside, and I puttered around the kitchen, trying to will my erection away.During the course of dinner, we chatted about her classes and so forth, and I was able to keep my hormones under control. After dinner, we cleared the table, and I did the dishes while she unpacked. As I was finishing up, she came in and announced that she was retiring early, since she was tired from the long drive. I said good night to her, and kissed her on the forehead.I went into the living room and sat down to watch the evening news. As usual, there was nothing encouraging on, but I liked to keep abreast of events. A few minutes into the broadcast, I heard Karen calling me. I got up and traced her to the guest bathroom.She called through the door, "Dad, I forgot to bring a towel in here with me. Can you get me one?" I told her to wait.
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