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’ You then sense me move towards you, place my hands around your shoulders and quietly ask you to take off your dressing gown. Totally naked I guide you to the caning bench. I ask you to bend over it before fastening your outstretched arms securely with leather straps to the front part of the wooden frame. I then tighten another strap around your middle before securing your thighs and ankles. You are now effectively restrained into a kneeling attitude with only a pad for comfort to rest the lower part of your torso on with your breasts hanging loose. As you feel your ankles secured you notice the warm sun upon your back… you feel conspicuous… and incredibly scared… once again you pray… and then hear me address the dozen or so of friends and work colleagues for the final time… ‘The time is now one minute to four o’clock… as you can all see I shall be using this cane which is a quarter of an inch thick… it is about two and a half feet in length… and quite whippy. I shall be employing. I could feel the lubrication, again, scaredthat it was something else, but it wasn't. I was the clean honeypotI've always been when I get fucked. I was just simply soaked from ourcum, from my cum. I cannot believe this has happened and I am psychedto try it on my own so I can learn my body and what it reacts to so Ican feel this feeling again and again. God, I fucking need it.End Diary EntryDiary Entry: January 2007I can't do this anymore. The more I think about my family and my jobthe more I realize how much of a liar I am by keeping my real feelingsand real self from them. I feel terrible about it. It's bogging medown and filling me with dread. How am I supposed to have thatconversation?End Diary EntryThis was a really confusing time for me. I remember it like yesterdayand it was one of those periods in my life where the highs were veryhigh and the lows felt really low. I was all over the map at times; oneday feeling so good about myself, the next feeling like a fat.
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