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It was just like when Mom didn't want to hate me. After Dad went to prison. He just couldn't help it. "I was still breast feeding the twins when he started to lose control sometimes and get mean. He was always sorry afterwards. He knew I was doing the best I could. We should have gotten a divorce. But I was too afraid of being alone and he knew how much I needed him. So we stayed together and it just got worse. "It didn't help when he got laid off and had to go to work for his brother landscaping. It was mostly just mowing lawns. It wasn't enough money. That was when I started selling breast milk. We could still barely afford to eat but it was enough to get us by. It was also one of the things that led to me becoming a surrogate mother." Then she slowly started to talk like a normal, reasonably happy person for the first time that day. "I love having a baby growing inside me. And my body's good at it. Bill was attracted to pregnant women too. But four. “No,” I said gently. “I think you’re human. Just as I am. And just as Mom is. Remember, ‘sin’ is missing the mark, a state from which we can recover by God’s grace; not a permanent black mark which condemns us to hell. This whole bit about the elect not committing grave sin is a lie from the pit of hell! Who would tell you that sin could permanently separate you from God? Satan! That’s who! It’s one of his aces in the hole! It’s never a message I heard from the Church! And I’m sure you haven’t either, because I can’t imagine Father Herman saying something like that! Or the bishop.”“You sound just like your mom,” Dad said with a smile. “I heard basically that same speech twenty-two years ago.”“Maybe it’ll take this time,” I said with a smile.“It’s very difficult to change things you’ve believed for your entire life.”I nodded, “I know, which is exactly why I broke up with April and why I didn’t spend the night with her last night, despite it being very tempting. I KNOW it’s very.
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