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She was also very aware of his generosity toward her. She had interpreted those gestures as him wanting to take care of her. But she was a grown woman. Having a 14 year-old caring for her offended her pride.This evening, for the first time, it was Jake who was needy. And he had let her help him. At that moment, she wasn’t some broke, lonely, pitiful woman with a screwed-up life. She had something to offer this remarkable boy, something worthwhile, something he could not get elsewhere. She very badly needed to be needed.Jake slipped his hands under her shirt and started to move them lightly up and down Lizzie’s back. She moaned. She grabbed Jake’s right wrist and moved his hand to her breast. Her nipple was hard. Jake felt it through her bra. He pinched it lightly.“Oh, God,” Lizzie sighed. Her hand flew to cover his, pressing it hard against her breast.Jake slipped his other hand under her bra and pinched the other nipple. He did it a little harder, and then harder again until he. I could share anything in theworld with her, Hell, I'd shared my mother's womb with her. I shrugged,"Because I don't have any interest in touching another guy's..." Istopped. That wasn't it and I knew it. I looked around the room for afew moments before my eyes met my sister's. "Because I'm too scared to." Marie nodded, knowing I'd been honest. "So? What now?"I sat and shook my head. "Rie... I'm not gay, I swear it. I know that'sone hundred percent true. I really and truly am not gay. When I jerk...fantasize, I don't think about men, I think about women. Beautiful,soft, sweet smelling women and now I AM ONE and I don't know what to doabout these feelings and about the fear, Rie. I'm in uncharted watersand I'm getting lost in everything that I'm doing and I love it all somuch more than I should and I'm scared, Rie! I'm so fucking scared! Ifeel like I'm losing myself! Like everything I've ever known aboutmyself was a lie and I'm petrified that that's the truth!"I was shaking by then.
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