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”“Good. We need to do your review,” Dave said. “Is Monday OK?”“Sure. Do you have everyone else’s for me to look through before you present them?”“I do. You’ll have those on Monday as well.”“Perfect. Thanks, Dave!”We hung up, I ate my lunch, and then got back to work. When my timer went off, I made dinner, planning it for 6:30pm so that Jessica could shower before dinner.“You didn’t like last night?” she teased.“I did. But you implied that you wanted to shower before dinner.”“I do. I’ll be back in a flash,” she said.She was true to her word and ten minutes later I was putting the food on the table. When we finished eating, we did the dishes and then decided to go for a walk. When we reached the sidewalk in front of the apartment building, Jessica slipped her hand into mine and we set off down the street.“How is your ICU rotation going?” I asked.“Fine. I should get good marks. It’s really all about knowledge and memory. If you pay attention to the monitors, do the exams, and can answer. Mark you as mine for the world to see. Leave hickeys like a couple of teenagers.Reality is that I had to get tested for STDs because you didn’t believe me when I said I was clean. Knowing that you had to have had sex with her recently. Or that it really offended me when you just wanted a hug and then changed your shirt as fast as you could. Getting rid of me like a fucking disease. Or tempting and teasing each other all day long or all week long, only to spend our date night not touching once. These are the realities that I cannot deal with. This is when words become just words and the magic that staggered me at first begins to die. We begin to die.When I was with my ex, I first noticed that he wasn’t happy by looking at old photos. Always the same fake smile, never a twinkle in his eyes. Until he eventually refused to take photos together at all. I place great importance on photographs. Little squares of paper specifically designed to make you recall memories, good or bad, like.
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