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And although I could distinguish the longing therein, it was still shadowed by what I now know was sadness. God, she was so beautiful, and it bothered me for a long while after I left Japan, knowing that I would never see her again. Still though, she still left such an impression on me that she haunted my dreams for many weeks afterward. Some things just aren’t meant to be, and sometimes it really sucks. Oh well, that’s enough about her. After I was released from the hospital in Japan and the government discharged me from the Navy, I went home to see my family. My mother was killed in a freak skiing accident when I was fourteen so, now it was just my father, my sister and I. My sister, Katie, was so sweet to me and seemingly wanted to make fuss over me the minute I arrived home. She is, and always has been, such a sweet girl, and it made her feel good about wanting to take care of me at first. However, after the end of my third week home, Dad came to my bedroom one afternoon where I. “Survival,” I responded.Sheila tilted her head to one side as her eyes widened in an expression of puzzlement. “Survival?”“Yes, survival. We’re in the high mountains in winter. Without the warmth and safety of this place, I wouldn’t last the night out there.” I swept my arm in a broad arc and gestured at the wilderness beyond the walls of the conference room. “Survival is much more than staying alive while we wait to die.”I rose from my chair and walked to the edge of the stage. “Most of my life has been as a solitary man with few friends. Alone but not lonely. All my best friends have been female. I have no close male friends. It could be because I was sexually abused as a kid, or perhaps it’s because I’m weird. Whatever the reason, I enjoy the company of women more than I do the companionship of men.”I held the palms of my hands open at my side and looked into the faces of the members. “All my best friends have been women. Some relationships were sexual, and others were not. None.
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