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I probably would have left it there but, as chance would have it, a few days later I saw an ad from a woman looking for a man."Thirty-something female, not lesbian but with tomboy tendencies. Seeks man who is willing to explore role-reversal. I'm okay looking. I work out. I am not crazy. Just looking for a straight guy who wants to be penetrated by a strong woman."I debated with myself. I'd never answered these ads, they were just wanking-fodder. But this one seemed like a perfect opportunity coming along at the right moment. I sent her a message.We traded a couple of e-mails, names (she is Megan, I am Rob) and face pictures before arranging to meet in the flesh.Knowing that we may end up having the kind of sex that had brought us together, I prepared myself carefully. Shaved my face, trimmed my pubic hair and, most importantly, gave myself an enema. We met at a mutually convenient coffee shop and it went well. Outwardly, we were age- and looks-appropriate. I think I was probably. But that wasn?t the worst part. The worst part was that I have found out that Master?s insistence that I don?t beg was actually doing me a favor. Because no matter that I in certain situations ? like this one ? simply can?t stop myself from begging, I have found that begging only makes it worse; amplifies my sense of helplessness and the accompanying pain and degradation. Focusing all my being on not begging because it would have him kick me, out focused my mind somewhat away from the pain, making it easier to bear. But now that barrier has been removed and so has the ability to shift focus slightly. I now get the full force of the pain and suffer all the more for it. Again I have to marvel at how that man is able to play every little string of my being like a finely tuned instrument.The pain I feel now is immense. The mechanic has me completely delirious and has had me like this for what seems like forever, showing no signs of ever stopping. There is only pain in my universe,.
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