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When you are ready ... are you ready?"My answer almost, but not quite, a lie. No, I wasn't ready. I didn't really think so. But I had known I wouldn't be more ready in a day, a week or even a month either. I was as ready as I would ever be."You know you won't just be looking, don't you? To understand what I do, you need to experience a little of what I do..."No. I hadn't known. I didn't know. And if I had known I probably wouldn't have asked. But I had asked and now I was expected to say something. I understood that Ann wanted me to say either yes or no, that she would wait until I consciously made my own decision. For once the silence didn't feel comfortable but oppressive. Not because I had felt urged or hurried by Ann, I was pretty sure she'd give me all the time I needed. But more time wouldn't help me.I didn't even know what I was afraid of. Certainly not of Ann, or I wouldn't be here. Maybe I was worried that I might not like it. Or maybe I was just as worried I might like,. My heart was pounding. I’d had a gut feeling something shitty was going to happen as soon as Caitlin suggested we kiss, but did I heed the warning? No, my cock did the thinking and now I would pay the price. Mom would kill me for embarrassing her, and what was left of me would be permanently grounded, but at least Jayden wouldn’t be in trouble, and even grounded she would still be my salvation.It was no longer if I got grounded, but for how long and under what conditions, hell maybe high school would be over. The only good thing was Vickie didn’t catch me trying to fuck her daughter because that would have been my next swan song.My erratic breathing settled down, the sounds and scents of the house were all familiar; Mom was in the kitchen, there was an occasional bang as she prepared dinner and the smells told me we were having beef roast and the trimmings.With my hearing set on acute, every time the telephone rang, the suspense nearly killed me. The anticipation of the axe falling.
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