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That night was the first and only night of our vacation we didn't make love.Vacation can be addictive. Getting up on Monday morning to go to work was hard. We both wanted to stay in bed, but the money had to come from somewhere and as things were, working was the only way. All that had happened at work before our vacation came back to me while I drank my coffee. I wondered what Dave and John, the guys from my group who had been sacked, were doing. Did I envy them? They could stay home and enjoy the fine summer weather. No, I didn't. I was sure they were desperately trying to find new jobs. They had to; there were mortgages to be paid, a family to support, and even though vacation was great, unemployment was something completely different. I can't recall who said it, but it was something about using our job to define our social role in society. Even if a person was provided for financially, he or she would still suffer from unemployment because of the loss of position in society.. Finally I convinced Jason that we needed to see other people, period. Then I didn’t feel so bad about going out with Mike. But, I still couldn’t give Mike everything he wanted, or I wanted, without wondering about Lizzi. Lizzi had grown quite fond of talking with me and since I was dating Mike she was always asking me how he was. She cared a great deal about him as a good friend. But, she was adamant about never getting involved with him again. Finally one night I couldn’t take it any longer and I asked her what, exactly was between them when they were together. Lizzi didn’t say much about what they had done but she confided that it meant more to Mike than to her and convinced me that I was acting like an idiot and sometimes a person has to be impetuous. Next thing I knew I was in bed with Mike and this time I didn’t run out. Sam, as I reread the pages I know that after that night with Mike I wasn’t going back to the person I was before that and I was glad. This was it. The.
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