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I have tried my best, but I can try no more. I am sorry I failed, I am sorry I let you down. Please, I hope someday you can find it in your heart to forgive all my ways…. Jade’ She pictured her mother opening the bathtub curtain, even heard the blood curdling scream as she pictured her mother’s gaze falling on her own glazed over jaded hues. She pictured her mother crying, heard her call her name. She pictured the ambulance arriving, the paramedics were placing her on the stretcher saying she was still alive. She pictured an oxygen mask being placed over her face and air being forced down her lungs as they screamed out in protest. She pictured being placed in the hospital bed, felt the doctors stitch up her wrists. She heard them say she was a lost cause. That too much blood had been lost. She opened her eyes and wondering if she’d died. The walls were all white and her gown was white as well. She heard the swished pumping of the respirator, with its tube in her nose, there to help. I have put them on the bed for you."I didn't even look her in the face as I walked out. This was gettingdeeper. I was now wearing a catheter and false vagina, secured by asmall padlock, a mouth ring, secured with a strap and padlock, and alsonow remote control hearing aids, fixed into my ears with some kind ofspecial tool. Running out the door wasn't looking like a good option; Ineeded to figure this out. And it wasn't helped by the fact that I wasfinding it all quite exciting, if I am honest.As I reached the door thru to my own room, I felt the earpieces switchoff; I was to be deaf when she didn't want me to listen.I had a long shower - I needed something after the trip we had had. Idried myself in the towel and walked back into my bedroom. When I gotthere, I was surprised to see Allie there - since I couldn't hearanything, I guess I would have to get used to that."Where is your curtsy, Tina? That's not what we agreed on, is it?"I curtsied, maybe a bit too quickly, as I looked on.
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