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“Isn't this going too far?” Jane asked when Tiffany put a knife on the table in front of her. “Oh, shush. You're ruining it!” Tiffany cleared her throat once more and cut her finger with the knife. There was barely any blood to be seen when she already started gasping and shaking her hand from the pain while one of her friends assured her of her bravery. 'Oh brother, you owe me BIG time for this evening!' “We call to us from the darkest pits of darkness...” Tiffany started. 'darkest pits of darkness? I guess she wrote this herself.' “Thou great beast to come to us tonight.” Missy giggled behind Tiffany and earned a slap onto her thigh for interrupting the oh-so-important highlight of the evening. “Come show yourself to us and honour us with your presence, oh great one.” “Exactly what is supposed to happen here anyway?” another one of Tiffany's friends whispered next to Jane, fear evident in her voice. “Oh, pooh, you're ruining it all. Missy, you can blow out the candles again. This. When I pulled the back off, I was totally dumbfounded! It was empty. I mean, I could see the little knobs on the underside of the buttons that were supposed to activate the sensors, but there were no sensors, nothing except the battery slots. No wires, no circuit board, no nothing! Of course, that was impossible. If there was nothing inside, it couldn’t possibly do anything to my TV!Could it?As I sat there feeling confused and totally creeped out, I had a passing concern about my own sanity. As far as I knew, there had never been a history of mental illness in our family, nobody going off the deep end and imagining things. I’d be the first.But NO, damn it! Everything else around me was perfectly normal. Only the remote wasn’t right.In a rush to reassure myself that I wasn’t hallucinating, I put it back together, aimed it at the TV, and pushed the “menu” key.HI, BOBBY. ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR INSTRUCTIONS?What the fuck?!Sean and his family got back home the next day. I called him early.
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