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I couldn't blame her."I'm not ready to say I forgive you for how you did it," she told me. "But I can say thank you for what you did."I wasn't looking for praise or forgiveness, but I accepted it anyway."And I'm finally able to forgive you for deserting me when I needed you most," I told her. "I know you smoked up just before you got here. I found the shit in your car and you stunk. You had to know I'd notice or your parents would notice or the cops would notice. But you did it anyway. You wanted someone to know and to help you. I believe that and you can't convince me otherwise."It took a lot for me to accept your parents' support through mom's illness. And when I finally did, you pulled your stunt and any network of support I had counted on was gone — including the person I was counting on most: you."You had your own problems and you had to find a way out of them. I was mad at you for a while. Then I was sad for a while longer. But mostly, I just missed you."I don't think Suzette. Now get going... we will be wheels up when you are ready." Thanks Bill. I'll see you in a bit. Really, thanks."I hurried out of there and headed home to pack. I called Trisha and told her what happened and that I didn't know how long I would be gone. I was surprised. She said to pick her up and that she was going with me. I told her it wasn't necessary but she insisted on being there for me, and help my mother and me anyway she could. I didn't care one way or the other right then. I just needed to get home for mom.When I got home I couldn't think. I started packing and for the life of me I couldn't even remember if it was cold outside or not. I fumbled around and got aggravated with myself. I was losing it. Thinking 'what if he dies? How long has it been since I seen him? Hell, over a year and not much time was spent with him. When was the last time I told him I loved him? Hung out or went fishing with him? I dropped into the chair by the bed and felt like crying. I couldn't think..
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