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How does He do that?” We don’t have cameras, He always just knows. It is like He is in my head and my body all the time. The connection is uncanny at best, only one sided; His side, and it drives me bonkers. Up the stairs I go, I pick up the pace. I must be in position when He gets to my room or I will automatically get swats and a privilege removed. Sometimes I don’t get a physical punishment, or privileges revoked. Those times I get a lecture by Him about my behavior or mistake, and that is worse. Although I can tell he is not in a lecture kind of mood. Almost to my room, the first door at the top of the stairs. I reach for the handle and realize I hear noises on the inside, mind goes into over drive.Who is in my room? Why is there someone in my room? It is MY room! The only place in the whole house that is mine, all mine. Most of my punishments happen here, my thinking, my school work, my writings, all the “my” stuff. “WHO IS IN MY ROOM?” I yell as I open the door and scare Abby. The model reference I felt would appeal to her. She had an old classmate who became a model. This classmate was a skinny girl and my wife always felt that she was too zaftig to model though I knew she would love it. The appeal hit home and my wife smiled shyly."Did you enjoy it? I thought you were great. The audience certainly appreciated it," I said."Well, I wasn't sure if I could go through with it. It was a good thing that Alan took control of me or I wouldn't have done it. It is surprising that a man can be so different than he appears. I never would have thought that Alan had such a commanding presence, that he would be such a manly man. But that was what I needed. I was not sure it would live up to my fantasies and I needed those drinks to get my courage up, and I needed someone to take control and make me do it. So a thank you to Alan for that. Yes, I guess I did enjoy it. It felt ... liberating, if that makes sense."I told her of course it made sense. I noted to myself that.
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