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Our divorce was bad, lots of insults and accusations then flew around both ways. I felt a pervert over some of the things he said to me and threatened to bring up. I didn't even fight for half the boatyard but he was fair with the house I suppose, he let me keep it and I gave in about the yard. I just felt bitter and I suppose jealous of her.I totally went off sex all together for about two years, even solo sex, I was just non-sexual, no dates, no sexy thoughts, nothing.I wore my sackcloth and ashes hard over my previous sex deviations for a few years, at first I really hated myself for what I'd "done." The "dog" thing was the worst guilt trip I suppose. I felt a total pervert for actually "doing it" with dogs but I told myself mentally that it had all been down to his 'encouragement'. I'd done it all "for him", not me. He "made" me... I know now this was totally untrue but in my mind then I had started to believe it myself! I brainwashed myself into a sort of mental 'get out'. It all. And youcouldn't call her. I mean, your cell phone doesn't work. Nordoes hers. And the restaurant has no phone..." He bet me his firm's skybox at Shea that I was lying." Come on, Brian," she said, exasperatedly."I don't know..." I started to sniffle. "I didn't want to dothat to Lisa and Jim." Do what? Leave them there? Why?" She's my friend." Is she?" Are we back on that again?" Let's see. She has you dress like this for four months. Yellsat you when you flirt..." She didn't want me to get beat up." Right. Then, she sets up you for a surprise, that turns out tobe more of an ambush..." She didn't know." Really? Do you think she thought Kenny would appreciateJessica?" I don't know that she thought." Oh, so that it makes it better. What did you do in therestaurant?" I told her off in the bathroom. Told her that she made me intoa freak that no one would want." Interesting choice of words. Do you feel like a freak?" We've been covering that." When do you feel more freakish? Now or as.
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