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You'll know then, won't you, Brenda?" OH GOD, FREDDY!" she moaned.I said nothing for a long couple of minutes, and watched her slowly calm down again. When her breathing was back to normal, she surprised me with what I thought to be a slightly rebellious remark."But this isn't right. It's for you. The sex is supposed to be for you. I need to repay you for bringing me to my room again. I should be giving YOU pleasure. Mine isn't important."I gawked at my hypnotic slave. After considering for a minute, I figured, what the heck! "Yes," I said as matter-of-factly as I could, "you're right. You must always try to please me, but unfortunately, your body will betray you. You won't be able to resist, will you? You cannot resist your body, and you must not resist me. You have so little control over things, Brenda. How does that make you feel?" It's sort of like being in my room," she answered quietly. I have no control there, and I love it. I think that not having any control when I'm with. If he wanted me to keep my head down in the car until he gave permission otherwise, fine. If he wanted me to meet at Starbucks at 6am in a halter-top and hip-huggers, so be it. I no longer felt the insecurities about my body that had plagued me throughout my life. I was free to be sexy with him and I let him define what appealed to his senses without dissent or defiance. Of course, at first, I was a little hesitant, but only internally. I complied with his wishes, indulged his desire to see me in things I would never have even considered before because he rewarded me with approving smiles and incredible passion. He constantly wanted me and I really really loved being wanted. Let's be real - we all want love. With Langston it wasn't about hearing "I love you" or expecting him to actually listen to me. It was about the attention. He had to devote a significant amount of time to manipulating my every waking moment - and some of my sleeping ones as well - so I felt important. I felt.
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