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I can not put this into words, any more than I can describe the lift in my heart when we met, the pride I had in being with her. The incredible truth that she wanted to be with me. The strut this put into my step. Walk on up the road from the university to the traffic lights and you’re opposite another coffee shop, the Silver Slipper, in the old streetcar station at the entrance to the Botanic Gardens. We would not linger there, though, even for the background of Beatles music. It was too close to the building across on the other side of the highway where I had a small apartment in the attic, a garret, if you feel poetic. And that is where we would end up, Jane and I. My room – Jane would have said ‘rooms’ – was six storeys up, a big dark place with two tiny dormer windows from which you could see some tree tops if you jumped high enough. There was a big draughty fireplace with a little electric fire. A tiny cooking area, with a miniature oven with an electric ring on top, on which. That seemed fine with her.I could tell she knew I was watching, and she wastrying to pretend she wasn’t aware of it or at leastthat she could not care less.A few minutes later, I entered her office. She wasn’tthere. I took the phone books off of the chair androlled in a new chair, one I knew could adjust to theright height without the phone books. I put the phonebooks away and scribbled a note on the Post-it pad onher desk. SORRY. PLEASE ACCEPT THIS AS A PEACEOFFERING.“Oh, so now you’re feeling sorry for me, are you?”I whirled around to face her.“You know something, Renee? You have a serious problem.I know your life isn’t too hot, given yourcircumstances, but a lot of other people havecircumstances they would rather not have, cards dealtthem they hate having to live with. But that’s life.You either fight the shit, go against the grain andhave faith in yourself, or you piss everyone offbecause you’re always miserable. Sooner or.
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