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I just act. I lose all concept of society, of other people’s feelings, of the consequences of right or wrong. I am, and I do. It’s simple. It’s easy. And it’s disastrous. I am capable of things, when I am in that place…” “Tell me,” she said softly, after he’d fallen silent for some time. Rael shrugged. Silmaria sensed he was dredging bits and scraps of memories from someplace long tucked away. “I could easily murder someone, when in that primal and unthinking state, and not think twice about it. And it wouldn’t be out of maliciousness or spite or evil. “It could be because I felt threatened,” he explained. “If I felt threatened, I’d kill the threat. If I were hungry, and I saw food, I would take that food, regardless if it were stealing or wrong, and regardless if I had to hurt someone to get it. I wouldn’t bear the person any ill will, but neither would I care. I have no moral compass, no reasoning when in that state. I have no context to draw on. I simply… am.” Silmaria leaned back. I waited until I actually had something to take back to her for filing, and then took the file folder along with her note having paper clipped that with her name on it back to the file room handing it to her. She smiled seeing it. I winked and then turned heading back to my office again. It was perhaps thirty or forty minutes, just a short time before everyone was to call it a day when she came back into my office again. This time she had written me another note, slipping that to me on what was now an empty manila file folder. Without so much as a word, she turned and went back to the dungeon.I know it sounds silly, but I was feeling a bit like some kid passing dirty notes to his girlfriend in high school or something. But it was again arousing, exciting. And certainly far more exciting than anything I'd been enjoying lately anyway. I opened the note reading it carefully in such a way that no one would notice me doing so if they were to suddenly pop in. No one did."I like you calling.
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