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Very early on I had found that it was easier to talk to my father about my problems than to my mother, especially when I became aware of sex, mum would 'um' and 'ah' about the subject whereas dad would give a straight answer if he could, I soon found myself confiding my secrets in him and though he tutted at some of the things I did he always did it with a grin. Maybe we were closer than most fathers and daughters, I don't know, but if I had a problem I at least knew who I could turn to for a sympathetic ear.One evening I went out with a dishy guy from the office, mum had gone off to one of her clubs before I went out and dad was reading in the living room when I left. The early part of the evening went quite well, the guy took me to a posh restaurant and I had just about decided to let him have me as a reward when the idiot went and blew it. Right there at the table he slipped a hand under the table and tried to get his hand under my skirt, dishy he may have been, but I was not. Or even Encino? This story, in fact, takesplace in a wondrous mystical city of Detroit. So the barman proceeds topour all the ladies a drink to their tastes. As soon as they are allset up, AND before he can propose a toast of sorts, a little person(dwarf, midget, and shrimpy are politically not correct and I certainlywouldn't want to offend) appears from out of thin air, runs up and downthe bar, and knocks every single drink over!"Don't worry about him. Set them all up again!"The barman looks at the gentlman for a moment eyeing his clothes, hisextremely meticulous grooming and decides to do as asked. He begins toset the drinks all up again. BUT!!! The moment he does so, the littleperson appears again and once again knocks them all down."Don't worry about him," the gentleman says with a smile. "Set them allup again."The barman now eyes the gentleman quite suspiciously."Listen!" he said with some small degree of anger. "I don't mind doingthis all night but who's going to pay.
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