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We chatted almost daily for a while and eventually we made arrangements to meet again. I knew she was unhappy in her marriage but we didn’t talk about , “us.” I’m pretty dense sometimes and I didn’t pick up on any interest she might have for me other than someone to talk to. We found a place to meet that was un-noticed by most and we talked. She started telling me how un- attractive she felt and I assured her she was beautiful. She complained about the stretch marks from her pregnancy and the way her breasts hung. I kept assuring her that she had nothing to be ashamed of. That’s when she took my hand and put it on her left tit. I felt it. It was wonderful. It felt soft, full and a little heavy. She asked me what I thought. I could barely speak. I then took my other hand and squeezed her right tit. It was equally wonderful. That was the most contact I’d had with a woman in months. I closed the distance between us and kissed her. She pushed hard against my lips and. It’s my version of fiddling as Rome burns. I can’t stop this and I’m becoming so aware of the present that I’m starting not to care.What I mean is the only cognitive success I have is here now, If you ask me about the close past (2 hours ago) or the far past (50 years ago) you run a risk of getting a null program response. If you ask me about a topic in those time periods I can probably have a conversation with you.examples:Q.How old were you when x?I don’t know. (Unless it’s something that left a deep mark. Say, the first time someone put a knife to my throat or that time I made out with a 32 year old woman. I was sixteen)If the question is object oriented I do better.Q: “How do you do x? or Was Uncle so and so mean or nice?”R: “You do x or he was very nice.”Problem come when someone asks: “Can you do that x in three hours?”R: “Write it down, or text me, or I will forget this conversation until someone jogs my memory.”What’s really fun is when I don’t know why I’m in a room. I know.
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