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I started to breathe in pants letting his voice bringing me over the edge. As I groaned his breathing became more erratic too and when he groaned I knew he was letting go too. “Damn, Anna, that was the biggest load I’ve shot in months,” he said breaking our silence. I felt my cheek flame and even though I was alone I was embarrassed. I bit my bottom lip and pulled my fingers out giving me that empty feeling. “Um… I don’t know what to say,” I said quietly catching my breath. “Tell me what it felt like?” I was not sure what he wanted me to explain, but figured it was about my orgasm. If I was wrong I was sure he would tell me. “My orgasm,” I said lowering my voice, “Well it is like a wave comes over me and every inch of my skin is getting electrocuted. I kind of like the feeling and want to have it all the time.” “I’m glad that I could help you feel that way. I just wish I was there to see you,” he said sounding sad. I frowned and without thinking said, “I wish you were here too.” The. " After I succumbed to my foolish weaknesses, our relationship became obsolete. There was nothing to try and save, no matter how much we both wanted to make it all work out. I couldn't make her happy and setting her free was the best thing I could do for her. Even if it did hurt the both of us. It's better this way though. I can't even make myself cheerful at the littlest things now. How was I going to maintain a happy relationship when I'm hell bent on giving myself nothing but punishment?It's so sad that I let someone break me like this. Causing my life to turn upside down and make me hate life as well as myself. I can't even believe in myself anymore. I've lost the desire to create and bring laughter to others. I can't bring myself to want anything, to hope or even love.I don't deserve love anyway, not even love for myself. I did a horrible thing to someone else and deserve to suffer for it. Coincidentally, I've found a perfect way to do that. Sexual humiliation has become.
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