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You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list.AND! NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.This one is compliments of Reltney McHere’s another one, about Little Johnny.Little Johnny was in first grade, and his reputation had preceded him.Today’s class was phonics, and everybody was to identify a word that began with the letter on the card the teacher displayed.She held up an “A”, and hands hit the air. Little Johnny was waving his hand in the air, and the teacher thought, “Hmmm. Anus. Asshole. NO, I don’t think I want to call on Little Johnny.”So, teacher called on Little Betty. “‘A’, Apple. Apple starts with ‘A’”. She sat down.Next card, “B”, brought about a storm of volunteers, prominently featuring Little Johnny, waving both arms. Again, teacher pondered. “‘B’. Hmmm. Bastard.. Mazzar smiled wide and let out a little growl of anticipation; the magic was working.He waited impatiently until the vapors ceased to flow from the bottle, and then turned to the chest of drawers next to the bed. Opening the top drawer, he pulled out the knife and twirled it between his fat fingers, "I think we'll get rid of this, just in case," he said quietly and chuckled. Ari didn't even twitch, deep in the spell of the magical smoke.Impatient, Mazzar simply walked to the door of the bedroom and hurled the knife out into the hall. He had waited too long to fuck this woman, and he wasn't going to wait any longer. Walking over to the bed, he said in a firm, husky voice, "Wake up."Arilee wondered why her head was throbbing, and why she was dreaming about being in her own bed. When she saw the shadowy form of someone above her, she tried to scream and scramble away, but she couldn't move. Panicking, she turned all her will to trying again, but the magic still paralyzed her."Don't.
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