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He was English – tall and looked very mature to me – but I guess he was only around 40. It was very humid and he was wearing baggy shorts and an open shirt. He was very polite - spoke Cantonese fluently (my English was not so good then) and carried my bag through to my bedroom for me. I unpacked a few things – when I went back to the living room he was sitting on the couch. I’m sure he didn’t realize – but the first thing I saw was that he had no pants underneath the shorts and his (what looked to me massive) balls were clearly visible down the lose legs. I’d known for a long time I liked men – but never done anything – I could feel my erection starting - turned to hide it and asked if it was OK to have a shower. In the bedroom I changed from my underpants into my jockstrap – I’d got this because it made me feel sexy – I often wore it to masturbate – watching myself in the mirror. Which I guess is what I planned to do as soon as I got to the bathroom. Instead of wrapping. After some time, I start to think how a horrible pervert I am, jerking off thinking her wife's couins' breast in the shower. Crying does not help the reveal the pain I am having. Drops are joining with the hot water and dissappears. Then I decided not to fantasize anymore.With these confusing feelings, I am not the man that I should be. I feel lonely and depressed and decided to focus on my work. However, I have this little annoying thing that gnawing away at the back of my mind. One day a came across to one of my ex-student, and she said I need help in my thesis asked if I am available. By the way, I am still working at a company which has a branch office inside of the Campus at the University. So, she thougt that I am still giving lecture. So, I have just explained my situation and give my YouTube Channel address saying that you can follow the material over there. In my mind I am saying to myself help her in any way that she needs, but for the sake being discrete I am trying to.
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