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From the south, you'll pass a handful of attractive two-storey homes, set back a little from the road and bordered by immaculate lawns; then you'll pass, at the same time, Harry's Amazing Grocery on the left and Larry's Marvelous Mercantile on the right; another collection of houses, and the crossroads where Lakeside Road cuts through Main Street. Then, before you know it, you're outside the First Lake Wannacum House of Worship, it's white-washed walls gleaming in the sun, and your eyes will be drawn, slowly but inevitably, to the eight-foot wooden penis out front. From the north, you'll pass the schoolhouse and Old Man Morgan's Garage and Auto Dealership, the first (and so far only) branch of the National First And Cautious Bank, the blunt, barnlike structure of the town hall, and Hot Black Joe's coffee house, but, either way, your journey's going to end with a big wooden cock. And if curious visitors never tire of asking the question, then Father Patrick Malone, his back straight. A couple of boys had even managed to ‘cop a feel’ of my rather unimpressive boobs in the dark but until that summer the contents of my knickers had remained a mystery to all except myself.I had explored myself ‘down there’ many times but that wasn’t something I wanted to talk about.Johnny of course was the dream boyfriend for most of the girls at school. Taller than me, dark haired, athletic, handsome and intelligent he was clearly destined for greater things and was the object of many schoolgirl crushes.My closeness to him was a constant source of bafflement for the more ‘girly’ amongst our cohort and frequently attracted some unpleasant, spiteful comments. When it was clear that our relationship was platonic, more like brother and sister, they left me alone, my presence resented but not seen as a threat.But I didn’t want our relationship to be platonic. I didn’t want to be Johnny’s sister.Though I fought hard to deny it, I had been in love with Johnny since the first time he and I.
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