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I opened my eyes and looked over at my sister."Sex, or making love, should be something special and private between people who care about each other. It shouldn't be something you brag about or spread around to make yourself look more important or make someone else look bad." She began. "To answer your question, yes I've had sex before; one time, when I was a little younger than you. I thought I was in love. The next week he told all his pals and before I knew it word was all over school. I was ashamed and humiliated. I beat the shit out of him for doing what he did. And then I started taking out my anger at boys on all boys. That's a big part of why I was mean to you for so long." Why didn't you want to tell me you'd had sex before?" I asked."Fear." She sighed miserably. "Afraid that you'd think less of me, that you wouldn't love me anymore. That's why I never told Mom about it. I was afraid that you'd be hurt."I sat up and slid next to Izzy, putting my arm around her shoulders."Not. Most kids my age were relieved. However, for me, school was my one place that I could escape these demons inside me. It was the only steady thing in my life at that time and I was feeling… empty and alone. For no real apparent reason, I was feeling so far away from gone. I just wanted to be home. The next morning, I woke up grudgingly. Today was going to be particularly horrible, when in reality, it should be one of the best days of my teenage life. But my anxiety was at an all time high. I couldn’t believe I had another panic attack last night. That was the third one this week. But no matter was my anxiety level, I had become an expert of hiding what I was really feeling. That was the reason I began writing in the first place. I needed an out. However, these days, it just doesn’t seem to be enough. I shoved my nightmare to the back of my mind, sighed and threw the covers off me. I made my way over to my closet. I paused, looking down at my pajamas, which only caused me to groan. I.
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