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And the bladder of God moved, creating the waters.And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. No, no, he then said, make that a Bud Light: and he had one. And God drank the beer and it was good.And the Lord God grimaced and an enchanted gust of wind blew forth from him. And the Fart blew the waters of the earth together unto one place, leaving dry land for God to rest his beer on. (Incidentally, a less well known consequence of this holy hurricane was that it caused Lucifer, God's favorite angel, to quit his post as God's errand boy, and flee as far from Heaven as possible.)And God said, Let the Earth bring forth trees bearing fruit, plants bearing pollen, and other green life. And the Lord God sneezed and saw that, hayfever excluded, it was pretty damn good for a first try. And God said, in a hoarse beer-befuddled slur, the trees and plants are catchy, but they are not quite enough. I'll make some animals; some who can eat the plants, and others who can eat the first. When the world was mine, it would be populated by demons and they would serve one king: me.It wasn’t gonna happen overnight, but that was fine with me. The process of turning the world into my personal domain or empire would take a while, but I would milk it for all of the fun and games possible. What else could I interrupt? Weddings? Funerals? Bachelor or bachelorette parties? Barbeques? Potlucks? Tailgate parties? Fraternity keggers? Sorority hazing rites?Yeah, this spelled nothing but new delights for yours truly. But cosplay conventions were a great place to start, no doubt of that. I adored nerds and geeks of all kinds, after all. I would use them to help raise my growing army and build up my kingdom here on Earth. I would overthrow all governments and I would do it right under the noses of the incumbent leaders of every single nation on the planet. How long before entire police departments and army bases were mine to command, after all?I wasn’t just any demon, after all. I was.
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